Nightmares
by Elenhin
Summary: Nightmares haunts all children, and they do not go away as you grow older. Alec has to deal with his all alone. One shot


Author's note: This is a one-shot I wrote to explore the relationship between Alec and James. I am intending to post a longer story featuring the two of them later, and this is partly to explore their different backgrounds first.

There are many similarities in Alec's and James' childhoods, but also many differences, and I wanted to explore what they would come to mean in their relation ship.

Very big thank you to Forever Faramir who once more have turned my spelling errors into correct words.

Disclaimer: I do not own James Bond, Alec Travelyan or any other James Bond related item or person. I have only borrowed the characters and will return them. Not even making any serious attempt at kidnapping Alec, and as I have gotten some special glue form Q, he shall appear utterly unharmed.

* * *

_**Nightmares**_

"Alec, Alec, wake up." The voice was not much more than a whisper. Hardly enough to wake him up on its own. It was the tugging on his arm that really woke him up. He blinked and tried to rub the sleep from his eyes with his knuckles. Trying to focus on the young girl who was standing beside his bed in the darkness.

Sarah was four years, and a half if you asked her. It was very important about that half year. You had better not forget about it.

She had been at the orphanage for three months now, and she saw six year old Alec as a protector. Many of the children saw him as someone who would protect them and care for them. It was because he was the one who had been there for the longest time. There wasn't one of them who didn't remember a time where he hadn't been there. He had been there before all of them.

Now Sarah stood there tugging at his arm. Desperately and looking scared.

"What's wrong?" He asked thought he was certain he knew. Sarah had lost her parents in a traffic accident, and she often had nightmares about it. She had not been there to see it, but she was scared and sad. Now Alec sat up and gave her a hug to comfort her. "Did you have a bad dream?" He asked her softly.

She nodded, and Alec saw the tears shining in her eyes. She didn't wake him up every night, only when the nightmares were too bad.

"Do you want me to come and sit with you until you can sleep again?" Alec asked her. Usually that was all he had to do for her to sleep again. Sit with her and let her know that she was not alone. Now she nodded again.

"Please." She whispered. "I got so scared."

Alec knew what it felt like to be so scared and to feel really, really lonely. So he hugged her again.

"Come on then." He slipped out of his bed and took her hand to follow her back to her own bed. She hesitated and clung to him, so Alec stopped long enough to pick her up and carry her instead. She was heavy, and he was not very strong, but he was strong enough and she was really scared of the big dark room.

He was the big boy, not the oldest, but he had been there the longest, and that made him the biggest one. He was six years old, as close as anyone could tell. No one was really sure exactly how old he was, but they said that it did not really matter very much anyway. No one would really care if he was five or six now, but when he had arrived at the orphanage he had looked big enough to be three years; and they'd had more two year olds than three year olds. They thought it wasn't good to have too many of one age, so Alec was six now.

He had tried to tell them that it mattered to him whatever he was five or six, but no one listened. He wanted to know how old he was. He wanted to know when he was six and a half. It would have been fun to know that.

Now he helped Sarah to climb back into her own bed, tucked her in and then sat down on the bed beside her. It was cold so he pulled his bare feet up beneath him. Trying to get some warmth out of the blanket that covered her bed.

"Can you tell me a story?" Sarah asked with a pleading look. She wanted him to tell her stories, because if she was thinking about the fairy tales when she fell asleep she wouldn't think about her parents.

"Of course I can." Alec assured her. "What story do you want to hear?" He'd heard many stories while he was at the orphanage. He tried to make sure he could remember all of them, and then he told them to the other children.

"A happy one." She pleaded. "I'm scared Alec. I want to hear something happy so that I am not scared anymore."

"Alright. I'll tell you a happy story." He promised. He stretched out beside her and hugged her close, she had told her that her mother used to hold her when she was falling asleep. Alec hoped that if he did as well, it might help to make her less scared. "I can tell you the story about the princess who lived in the most beautiful kingdom you have ever seen." He offered. "The one who married the prince who rescued her from the dragon. Do you want me to tell you that one."

"Yes, please." Sarah snuggled close to him as he told her the story. It was her favourite, because the princess got to go back to her family again. She fell asleep just before the end, as she usually did. She loved to hear that one, and she always fell asleep just before the end.

Alec yawned and went back to his own bed. It had gotten cold while he was away, so he curled up and tried to warm it a little at the time. He never minded when they woke him up, even if he wanted to sleep and was tired, because he knew how it felt to be that scared.

It also made him feel good in some way. He couldn't recall ever having been told bedtime stories by his parents, if they had, he'd been to small to remember it. He couldn't remember anything about his parents, but the other children were so happy when he told them the stories that it made him feel good as well.

Sometimes if they couldn't sleep they would come to him and beg him to chase away the monsters that were beneath the bed. Alec would go with them, and he would shoo the monsters off. Send them back to the monster land where they could not scare anyone, because it was only monsters there. Since there was only monsters in monster land, and since no one was afraid of them, and since no one was afraid of them, they could play and have fun instead. He would tell them of how the monsters was really rather nice, they just got bad when they could not find their way back to monster land.

They got scared, and when monsters are scared they get scary, but when they got back they weren't scared anymore.

He would tell them that, and they wouldn't be as afraid of the monsters anymore. It was funny, but a monster that had been so frightening when it was hiding beneath the bed was not as frightening anymore when it was playing on the swings with some other monsters.

Then it was a funny monster.

You didn't have to be afraid of a funny monster. So they would come to him when there were monsters beneath the bed or they had had a bad dream, because he could always make the bad things go away.

* * *

Alec woke up with a choked scream in his ears, he sat bolt upright and the sweet soaked sheet pooled around his waist. He was shivering with the cold sweet that covered his body, or was he trembling with the fear that lingered in his mind.

It was he who had screamed, because the nightmare had been so real.

He couldn't recall any details of it, and for that he was glad, but it had been so vivid and so real in his mind. It had been terrifying. He wiped the cold sweat away from his forehead with one hand, and because it didn't help much, grabbed a handful of the sheet and wiped his face with it. That helped more.

Every now and again the nightmares haunted him. The things he had seen since he became an agent. It wasn't really surprising; he had seen and experienced some rather horrible things. Suffering nightmares such as these made him feel weak, but he knew that he really wasn't. It was a normal reaction.

This time there had been something about the corpses of a man and a women, and a small child that wasn't dead hat had scared him, He was really glad that he couldn't recall more of it than that, it had been more than bad enough as it was.

It was easier to handle those sights when he was awake and determined to succeed with the mission, when you were asleep afterwards they were even worse.

The worst part was having no-one to sooth your fears.

When he was a child he'd been the one the other children turned to, to sooth their nightmares and fears, but there had never been anyone to chase his away.

He was alone in the darkness when he awoke with the terror fresh in his mind, and he was alone when he lay back down again, trying once more to fall asleep, or at least to stop thinking about the horror image he had seen in his dreams.

It was the worst part, to always have to deal with your nightmares alone, because he didn't feel he could bother James with it. James wouldn't scorn him for it, he knew as much, but he felt silly about being so bothered by the nightmares.

No, he had to deal with them on his own.

Just as Alec were on the verge of falling asleep again there as a familiar feeling that came over him. He had to deal with those night terrors on his own. That he could accept, but his biggest fear, his worst nightmare was to be abandoned and left on his own.

When Alec fell back into sleep, this time there was no more dreams before dawn came, no more nightmares for that night.

It was however not the last time they haunted him.

The End

This was the fourth one shot. I hope you all enjoyed it, here is also review response for the third one. I want to thank everyone who have read those stories.

/Elenhin

Soniya Bond: Since there were no response the last time I am not sure if you are still reading this, if you are, I tried to send you a mail, but for some reason it did not work. If you still want to get in touch with me, my email is, and I would love to hear from you.

Lady Elbereth Tealrose: My dear Padawan, scout and all other things as well, you if anyone should know that I have no intention to stop writing whatsoever. I have ink flossing in my veins, and I have to write, it makes my heart cry out with joy to know you like it though, and I am not kidding, the neighbor was banging on the wall because it was to loud.

Earendil Eldar: The same goes for you, all those kind words has me all giddy with joy. By all means, watch Goldeneye, it might not be the best movie, but Alec is a very interesting character, a first glance at the screen will have him evil, but there is so much more there that needs to be explored, and I want to do it. I love poking around and seeing what more there is to characters such as him, and you make me feel as if I am doing a good job with it.

Silveni: I beg to differ, your review was both informative and useful. I would guess that anyone in their line of work would be suffering nightmares about it, at one point or another. This one shot dealt with the same thing, nightmares, and how they affect different people, maybe not so much, but it is there. In the movie we saw what the friendship between Alec and James was like, and I thought it was beautiful, that is why I am trying to explore it.

Iolana Khenemet: Um, I wonder what Alec meant when he said that, that he was better? Or did he wish to remind James of the contest they seemed to make their job into. Alec is a very deep character with so many layers it is hard to tell one from another. He could be a traitor, but I don't think so, it would take a great betrayal first, and the one mentioned does not count, that might turn him against England as such, but not against James. I might add that I am working on that first mission, I just don't have it all figured out yet, but it should come sooner or later.


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